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For the tag "president"
Obama to Invoke Emergency Superhero Powers
President Barack Obama announced today that he would invoke flight, invisibility, and other Executive Superhero Powers over the next three months.
(more)Obama Replaces Cabinet with Entertainment Center
In an afternoon press conference in Atlanta, Georgia, President Barack Obama today announced the replacement of his cabinet with a solid-oak entertainment center.
(more)Obama Signs Temperature Stimulus Package
In a bitterly cold White House Rose Garden ceremony, President Barack Obama signed the long awaited Temperature Stimulus Package recently passed by both houses of Congress.
(more)My DNA-Linked Inaguration
Take Obama’s height. He towers at six feet one-and-a-half inches, and I am proud to say that I, too, have the advantage of height, thanks to the genes he and I share in common. I myself am five feet ten inches.
(more)I Need a Fix
I have a confession to make. I’m an addict, and I need a fix. I’ve been hooked for about eight or ten weeks, although the blur of the last few months makes it difficult to truly gauge the time. And now, having been without a hit for three days, withdrawal symptoms are starting to set in. My drug: presidential tracking polls.
(more)Obama Ejects Reporters from Plane, Search Continues
Senator Barack Obama today ejected three reporters from his campaign plane after their affiliated newspapers endorsed his opponent, Senator John McCain. A ground search continues for the reporters.
(more)Palin Targets Illegal Votes in Debate
Responding to sentences used by Sarah Palin that were of a complexity normally expected for students at a tenth-grade reading level, Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean quipped, “As is typical of Republicans, Governor Palin clearly attempted to violate election laws by targeting underage high school students.”
(more)No Robots for President
Can someone please tell my why the mainstream media and national polling organizations keep focusing on side issues like the War on Terror and the economy instead of on this one question: Which of the two major party candidates is more likely to take complete control of the United States through his own army of flesh-eating robots?
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